A Sanctuary of One
Chapter 07 Not Happy With Her, Unhappy Without
Driving to work, Julie made the commitment to herself that she would text…Courtney, and tell her this had to end. She didn’t need to explain, she argued in her mind, she just needed to send the text, make the move and get back to her life.
She had a good life, and what was happening with Christopher, well, she would, they would, work that out. She just needed to be strong.
Courtney slouched into her worn desk chair; it had been one of those mornings. The woman who she had assisted had ended up being taken to a hospital with a broken arm, but she was also high on something, and her son needed to be placed with child services. It had been an emotional scene and the woman had at one point simply lashed out, hitting one of the paramedics and then Courtney in the face.
The physical mark was small but the emotional sting remained. Sometimes helping people meant forcing them to make painful choices. That was life. Courtney brightened up then when the memory of the morning text from Marcie popped into her mind. Wednesday afternoon she would have a photo shoot with someone arranged by the woman; it was some more money and another opportunity. Would she leave her day job behind, totally, some day? Interesting.
Courtney also smiled at the thought of Julie White. That had been fun, this weekend; and to get a follow-up call from Hannah was something, Courtney pondered, as that girl was as self-centered as she was. What would Julie do now, Courtney thought. And Hannah? Courtney had felt…something, the first time they had met; something dangerous but compelling.
Claire brought some charts into Dr. White’s office. She could have had today off after her weekend excursion, but she had no interest in staying home, so White told her with a grin she would earn time and a half today. She laughed at that, but the money didn’t matter to her.
“I meant to ask you, Sir,” Claire smiled at her boss, “how did your, um, photos turn out?”
Now it was White’s turn to grin. “Oh my, marvellous, really, Ms. Butler. Still can’t wrap my head around…everything.” He shook that head as he said this.
Claire moved closer and rested a hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad you enjoyed it; really glad. I love it when you’re happy.” She leaned over and kissed him, then headed back to her desk. Some day soon she needed to ask him about his wife; some day, very soon.
Julie had made it to noon with only a few pangs of memory, when Courtney’s face would drift through her mind, but now she had to get out and get some air. What she really wanted was a smoke, something she had given up when she became pregnant, and had not considered returning to; until today. She was literally climbing the walls.
She walked to a corner store and grabbed some nicotine gum, thinking this was a product she could come up with some ads for, based on her own needs. She got a coffee from a local stand and took it to a small green space a couple of blocks from her office, the walk there and back actually doing her good. She had not texted…Courtney, yet.
Back at her office, she sat in heavy contemplation. Who was she kidding? She couldn’t walk away from this, Courtney’s face would haunt her, likely forever. She needed to get a clear picture of just what her role was to be. She’d worn two hats, at least, in advertising all these years, able to separate who she was from what she did; why couldn’t she do that in her personal life?
There were lots of couples who did ‘things’ sexually, pushed the boundaries, yet could resume the parent’s role outside of the bedroom; why couldn’t she? She needed to give it a chance.
Taking out her cell, she contemplated what to say to Miss Courtney, but at that moment Jasmine came in; TD Bank had come on as a new client, with a potential for a fairly large account; Jasmine had put a profile together that needed Julie’s approval; she would need to get back to her cell later.
The rest of the day had been free from drama and Courtney heaved a sigh as she saved a file on her computer and then placed a folder in her out basket. Her cell phone signalled and she noted it was just past four as she opened the message; it was from Julie.
“Miss Courtney; I hope you were pleased with me this weekend. When may I see you again?” it read, and her name was signed correctly with the lowercase j.
Courtney smiled at this; it was an important step. The woman, a mother and business woman, had been humiliated and degraded, with an introduction to bondage and mild pain and discipline, and she was asking for more. Courtney placed the phone to one side; the woman would need to wait, and Courtney wanted a moment, or several, to think.
Abigail had just explained her two pictures to her mother; especially why a picture of her family had a dog in it when they didn’t have one, and Julie and her daughter had gotten into the caring of pets, etcetera before Abigail grew bored and headed off to her room, when Julie’s cell chimed.
“Ah, my girl, I am very VERY happy to hear from you. I thought you were awesome and sweet for me over the weekend, and before. (Smiley face) I would like to talk to you; I’ll call tonight around nine. Kiss Kiss.” Lips emoji.
The familiar surge began and Julie smiled, then looked around to see if Noah noticed. He was seated at the table and busy with something and oblivious to his mother. Julie sat on the couch as Angel bustled in with her arms loaded and began preparing dinner.
“Anything I can help with?” Julie called.
“No, Mrs. J., I’m doing spaghetti with a salad; no problem at all, thanks.”
“Okay,” Julie replied and pulled the TD Bank notes form her briefcase, when suddenly a book she had read years ago, in high school actually, came to her mind; Of Human Bondage, by W. Somerset Maugham. She remembered it as the first ‘love’ book that had made an impact on her. Or an anti-love book, really.
She hurried downstairs to where a couple of bookcases sat in a storage area; how long since she’d been here? A year? She scanned the rows and there it was; dusty as could be. Julie took it down and wiped it off and skipped through the chapters, thoughts tumbling in her mind, until she came to the section involving Phillip and the beginning of his relationship with Mildred.
There was the line, “He was not happy with her, but he was unhappy away from her.” Julie closed the book and carried it upstairs. Maybe she would read it again, now that she’d lived a little.
Or maybe she needed to read it, because of Miss Courtney.
Carolyn, her upstairs neighbor, was tied naked on her bed, and Courtney was sitting on her face. Occasionally she would shift her hips, when it was apparent that the woman couldn’t breathe, otherwise Courtney sat and enjoyed the tongue servicing her. She was on the phone again with Hannah. Courtney now admitted to herself that this woman, a sort-of-friend, in reality intimidated her. Courtney had kept that hidden, though; a defensive response. This flurry of calls from Hannah was unusual, and was affecting her.
For her part, Hannah had initially liked her relationship with Courtney, as the attractive woman was a genuine ‘chick magnet’, and although Hannah liked sex with men, she also enjoyed using ‘Courtney’s girls’, as they were always submissive women and ‘so fun’. Hannah did not hide her sadistic streak, and used the women as they were presented. She knew Courtney was sucking up, but so far had not gone anywhere with that knowledge. This deal with her new `slave` had definitely impacted her.
“Yeah, Friday night’s good. Where exactly?” She murmured.
“Mmmmm, Gena has that great Midtown loft, right. That works,” Courtney replied, raising her hips slightly and moving her pelvis as Carolyn’s tongue did its thing.
“How many hot ladies?” Hannah smirked.
“Just four. I don’t want to blow my newbie’s mind.”
Hannah paused, thinking both of Courtney and her ‘girl’. “And I can whip her, hmmmm Courts?”
Feeling a strange tug at Hannah’s word, Courtney replied quickly, “Yeah, but not with anything that breaks the skin, hey. A few welts are okay, but I don’t want my girl damaged, just put in her place.”
Hannah chuckled darkly, “You really are one twisted bitch, Courts. A real skitz-o-whatever.”
“Schizophrenic. Hey girl, I only have the two personalities, and I keep them under control,” Courtney laughed, and Hannah chuckled with her. “Oh,” Courtney remembered, “I want my toy to get a clip, you know. You’re good with that; could I send her over, like, tomorrow?”
Hannah considered, “Yeah, I work ‘til six Tuesday. If she gets there just before, then I’m good to do her. I’ll expect, like, payment, hey?” She smiled.
“Of course. Oh, and just a trim like we said; not shaved.”
“I hear ya’, Bitch.”
Courtney smiled as she ended the call, then reached down and pulled hard on Carolyn’s labia, making her cry out, Hannah`s face flashing briefly in her mind.
July 2008, New York City
Claire woke with a stiff neck and various hurts; she looked at her cell phone and saw it was just six-thirty. Her stiff neck was from sleeping in the back of the family vehicle. After George’s two pals had left, a little after midnight, their sexual energy all used up on her, Claire had grabbed both sets of car keys and locked herself into the Toyota, grateful that their son was on a weekend trip with his basketball team.
After pounding on the car for a few minutes in vain, George had staggered back into the house, leaving her to sleep.
Now, creeping into the kitchen, she snuck quietly into the main floor washroom, listening for sounds of George. A few minutes later, heading back to the kitchen, she was startled by a sound to her left.
“Well, looky here…” George mumbled, lurching from the hallway and grabbing her arm. Claire broke loose and stumbled into the kitchen, George crawling awkwardly on hands and knees in pursuit.
Now clutching an ankle, he laughed and began to pull Claire to him. Grabbing the closest thing handy, a frying pan, Claire slammed it over George’s head and he lay still.
Julie’s cell rang at about ten minutes past nine. Christopher was in their room; he had early surgery Tuesday and was probably going to shower and then watch some television in bed.
“Hello?” Julie answered, thinking she should be respectful, but what if by some fluke it wasn’t Miss Courtney, as no I.D. was shown?
“Hey sweets, can you talk?”
Julie sighed and took a breath, “Yes…Miss Courtney.”
Courtney sighed too, and lay back against her pillow, one hand gently stroking her pubic hair. “Didn’t know if I’d hear from you; you had a pretty heavy weekend, for a mother from the Upper West Side,” Courtney murmured.
Julie had to chuckle; although it was amazing how the relationship had changed between her and this young woman. She was treading cautiously, careful of what she said. The enthralling voice on the other end held her; she did not want to let it go. “I did some thinking, that’s for sure,” Julie commented.
They sat in silence for a moment. “You’d like to keep goin’ with me, see where this ends up?” Courtney asked, her voice again sultry.
Whatever doubts Julie may have had earlier were gone; completely gone; there was no way she would walk from this. If this woman had summoned her at this moment, Julie knew she would put on her coat and go; human bondage no doubt. “I want to see you again,” Julie said quietly, heart racing as always.
Moments passed again; Julie could hear Courtney’s breathing. “You want to be…my girl?” Courtney finally said, her voice velvety and soft.
Julie controlled the gasp that this question produced. I would go on my knees, she thought. “Ohhhh, mmmmm, yes, Miss Courtney, I want to be…your girl.” She really did.
Courtney smiled and squeezed her labia, “I wish you were here, your face between my legs…Julie-slave,” Courtney whispered.
Julie moaned softly and undid her slacks, sliding her hand between her thighs. “I wish I was with you,” Julie sighed, the word slave causing a pure rush. The two women pleasured themselves, linked by an invisible cord.
Before ending the call, Courtney instructed Julie to go to Miss Hannah’s store tomorrow, before six. The woman was going to trim her pubic area. “I want my girl to look a certain way, and be respectful. You will do whatever Miss Hannah commands.” Courtney had murmured, two fingers now deep within her.
“Yes, Miss Courtney,” was all Julie could say, as she had now slid her slacks and panties completely off and sat on the carpet against the couch, legs wide.
July 2008, New York City
George was back from emergency, his head mended with four stitches. He and Claire had reached an agreement; nothing further would be said regarding either what his friends had done or her assaulting him.
Claire moved her things to the spare bedroom and took up residence there; the next day, she came home early and had a handyman install a dead-bolt lock on the bedroom door. She had then encouraged him to screw her, the first of several men she would hook up with over the next two years; she wondered if she were making a statement or just seeking revenge.
That changed however when she went to work for Dr. White. Although it would be years before they became, intimate, she had ‘fallen for him’ from day one.
As he lay, freshly showered on his, their, bed, watching Fox news, Christopher’s cell buzzed; a text from Claire.
“I wish I was with you,” was the simple message.
“You mean so much to me, my dear Claire,” Christopher texted back, feeling no guilt. This mattered to him; he had no idea where Julie’s mind was at these days, but he was certain she was involved with some man, although this was different somehow from the others. He would ask her about it, just not yet.
In the meantime, what had developed between him and Claire Butler, this passion, excited him. He wanted it. Was he walking a thin line? Maybe, but he was doing it with his eyes wide open.
Julie’s morning had been spent going over print layouts for the series of Bank ads. The time had flown; she’d managed but a single break for a cup of coffee, which was good, as her mind couldn’t dwell on the path she was on, or where, as Courtney said, it might end up.
The afternoon involved an interview with another designer, to assist Jasmine, and then another meeting with a new client; one pushing a new ‘female Viagra’ pill. That, Julie said to herself, should be interesting.
Hannah was just putting some blouses back on a rack, with only a few minutes to closing, when she saw Julie White enter. She had agreed to assist Courtney with this as she was interested in what might develop. She also enjoyed punishing people, but didn’t have Courtney’s skill, or whatever, in finding women who were submissive and accepting.
“Go into the change room area and get naked. I’ll be in soon,” she said in a business-like way, and Julie, feeling awkward, followed the instructions and was waiting on a chair, legs crossed, when the tall, dark-haired young woman entered.
She came straight to Julie and stood above her, smiling. She was attractive, but in a hard way, Julie pondered, knowing that she would never be drawn to her, but still excited none-the-less with this situation.
The woman reached out and cupped Julie’s chin, forcing her to look up. “What has…Miss Courtney told you?” She asked.
Julie swallowed, feeling a tide of arousal rising, then spoke quietly, “She wants my, um, me, shaved or trimmed. She says my, uh, bush is too much.”
“Open your legs,” Hannah said, looking down, “Yeah, that’s quite the patch. I told Courts you kind of had a squirrel living between your legs.” Hannah chuckled darkly and walked over to a low shelf to their left. She returned with some plastic clips and proceeded to tie Julie’s wrists to the arms of the wooden chair. Next she spread Julie’s legs as wide as the chair would allow and clipped her ankles.
Taking out her cell phone and saying, “Don’t get nervous, I’m just doing a before and after with your pussy; see, no face,” she showed Julie the shot. What Julie didn’t know was that the woman had quickly taken two photos, one that did show her anxious face.
Leaving Julie tied like she was, Hannah wandered off, returning with a can of diet coke, a razor, some scissors and an electric trimmer. Kneeling, she looked up at Julie and smiled, and for some reason, a chill went up Julie’s spine.
In a moment, one of the two women from the night before came to stand behind Hannah; she was holding a short dust broom. She placed the handle in front of Julie; “Suck it, Slut,” she murmured, as Hannah reached up and twisted a large, brown nipple.
Grimacing slightly and feeling light-headed, Julie opened her mouth.
“Hey, how’d it go, and thanks for havin’ my back, Sister” Courtney said.
“No worries, girl. It was cool, and of course now you owe me. My gaydar says this chick is, um, driftin’,” Hannah added, the usual smirk on her face.
“I think your gaydar is broken, girl. She’s as bi as Hecht, but that doesn’t bother me. I’m just into how badly she wants to serve. Yeah, and I get that I owe you one, Sister.”
“So she’s not your boo, hmmmm?” Hannah laughed inwardly, already knowing the answer, remembering how she and Kari had abused the submissive ‘toy’, with the broom handle, making her beg for an orgasm.
Courtney snorted, “No way and please don’t ever use that word again. It’s never been cool.”
Hannah laughed out loud, “Yeah, I get it. She is a cougar though, hey?”
“She’s totally cougar, woman,” Courtney laughed, “But I’m so into cougar, so what’s a girl to do?”
“So the paddle-party’s on for Friday?”
“Ha, if my girl is trimmed and ready,” Courtney replied.
“Check your cell, Whore, I’m sendin’ you the before and after.” In a moment the messages arrived and Courtney smiled at Julie’s nicely trimmed pubic patch. “And I’ve added a little touch, Miss Courtney; I hand-shaved her ass; you’re welcome. She’s so clean you could eat off her.”
“I will,” Courtney laughed, feeling arousal. At the other end, Hannah sat with a smile on her exotic face.
Julie was at home on the couch, reading her book. She couldn’t believe the difference in how she was responding to it now versus her high school self. She remembered thinking how ‘noble’ the character Phillip had been to her, how he persisted in his love; she knew now it wasn’t love.
She was reading the part where he was thinking of being under the ‘passion’ of his desire for Mildred, and he had felt more…alive. Julie could relate to that now, but not with any noble perspective.
Phillip was right, though; the passion was addictive, like a drug, and he thought it made him high, which was pretty much what was going on in her life, Julie considered. But he had experienced a contentment; mine comes from the release; the orgasm, she thought; but is that all it is for me? She wondered.
Phillip had asked himself the question, could one discard happiness to gain passion, because it made one feel so…alive. Julie also had never felt more alive than she had recently; not even when she had become a mother, something that had actually terrified her.
Even Miss Courtney’s friend and the other woman had, tonight, been able to make her first, explode with passion and then, second, lay in contentment. This, after trimming Julie’s sex, humiliating and degrading her with a broom handle before fondling her to climax. Julie had indeed felt alive, even as she fought the feelings of disgust at her eager compliance; more than simply alive, actually; she’d felt, well, valued, in a strange way, like she had a purpose. How could that be?
Sighing, Julie slid her slacks down and looked at her pubic patch, caressing it with one hand. Hannah had taken a photo of her and sent it off to Miss Courtney and Julie had felt…proud, again? That was bizarre, but wasn’t any obsession bizarre? How pathetic was that?
But mainly Julie had felt so good, so very good; that was for certain, and Hannah had mentioned that Miss Courtney had plans for her this coming weekend. And that had excited Julie; very much.
So was she as pathetic as Phillip? More so?
He had needed to deal with the conflict of loving Mildred and hating her at the same time. “He loved her with all his heart.” What does that even mean? Julie pondered.
Could that be true of her; could what she was feeling for Courtney be called…love, and with all her heart?
I don’t love her, Julie said to herself, even as her hand gently worked between her thighs. She would, however, tell Christopher that she had plans for the weekend.
Wednesday morning was quiet at the clinic; the doctor liked to keep one morning free from surgery and even consultations if he could. “So, how would you like to spend Friday night with, um, me?” Dr. White asked, focusing on the papers on his desk.
Claire moved closer and laid her hand on his white-coated shoulder. “How would that work, because, well, the answer of course is, yes.”
White looked up with his mild, blue eyes. “Well, um, we’re into this deal where the grand parents take the kids on the weekend and Julie told me she will be, well, away this weekend, Friday certainly. So, looks like I’m free I guess. And our place is, too…”
Claire put her arms around him, “I’ll go wherever you want me to go. Your place sounds wonderful; I’ve wanted to see it for a long time.”
White chuckled. “Let’s have dinner and then back to my place. What, um, what about your husband?”
“Forget about him,” Claire murmured, kissing the top of White’s blonde head. “I have.”
Julie’s cell intruded on her work; she was deep into her proposal for the ‘woman’s little blue pill’ and had been so absorbed she lost track of time. It seemed to happen rarely these days and she was grateful when it did. That still didn’t dampen the skip her heart took when she picked up her device and saw the caller I.D. number now displayed.
“Miss Courtney?” She answered respectfully, getting up and closing her door.
After a hectic morning, things at the shelter had gotten very quiet and Courtney decided to take this opportunity to check in on her girl. She chuckled at the tone of Julie’s voice. “So, how do you like the look of our pussy?” She smiled.
Feeling a jolt at the words, Julie smiled too, replying “I like it, and I hope you will, too.” She murmured. “Hannah…”
“Miss Hannah,” Courtney corrected.
“Miss Hannah, um, told me of…plans for this weekend?”
Courtney leaned back in her chair, “So, you are free to
be with me?” she asked in that voice that Julie found impossible to resist.
“Yes,” she murmured. “Yes I am.”
(End of Chapter 07)