A Mask of Love
Better A Single Decision Than A Hundred Choices
Kendra sat with her coffee in front of her computer, staring at the only two images she had of Brown and Thomas. She would go to Kenora, she would go to their lousy house and she would confront them. What would she say? As she pondered, she realized it was not about what she would say, but about what they would say.
She would take a camera (sweet irony considering how Brown loved his camera) and have them confess to it of what they had done, and then apologise to Lillian and beg forgiveness.
That felt good; just how she would do that still needed to be, emm, worked out.
Hearing noise from the kitchen, Kendra got up and went there to find Jessica cutting a grapefruit. “You got in late last night,” she said.
Jessica, bright eyed despite her past midnight return, smiled at her friend. The memory of the girl she had hooked up with, fresh out of high school, was in her mind. The girl was like a young version of herself; feminine, with long, brunette hair and slim, modest breasts.
Jessica had driven her to an isolated ‘lovers’ spot she knew of and they had climbed into the back seat. The girl, who had ‘done some kissing’ with a couple of girlfriends, got the full treatment from Jessica.
Later, when she was being dropped off in front of her house, the girl had tried to give Jessica her name and info, but Jessica had fended her off. She didn’t want to know even her name, although she had kept her cell number. One never knew.
“Yeah, I was out and about.” Jessica put half the grapefruit in the ‘fridge’ and sat at the table. “What are you up to, computer girl. You spend a lot of time staring at that thing, what’s the attraction, and this is comin’ from an IT girl?” Jessica smirked.
Kendra chuckled; she wasn’t going to tell her housemate more than necessary. “Doing research, Kid. My girl returns in three weeks or so and we got plans, eh?”
“Yeah, what exactly?”
Kendra considered. “Well, we may do some travelling. Actually, I know we’ll do some travelling, just not one hundred percent sure on where.”
“Leaving poor little old us here on our own-sies?” Jessica pouted.
Kendra chuckled again. “I’m sure you’ll be fine. Speaking of girls, where’s yours?”
“Tied upstairs on my bed with a couple of vibrating eggs stuffed in her naughty places. This being a slave mistress takes some work, eh?” Jessica dead-panned, and Kendra chuckled.
It felt odd to Lillian, after all these months of being watched and controlled, to be out alone. Kendra had been encouraging her, and today had dropped her off to do some exploring. Lillian was out on Victoria Island, right on the Ottawa River, at something called the Aboriginal Experience. She had been afraid that it would be some ‘white folks’ view of Native life, but it was way better than she expected. The site didn’t focus just on the Ottawa area, but had information and displays about how Aboriginal people lived all across North America.
She was right at that moment eating some bannock, something she may have eaten back with her mom on the reserve, but she had no memory of what was a basic food for many native tribes. Checking her schedule, she saw a dance performance was just about to start. After that she would check out the Aboriginal craft activities and maybe even paddle a canoe. She smiled, and actually laughed out loud. This was too good to be true. ****
Simon Cutter sat with that reptilian smile on his face, and his presence made Dawn nervous. “You don’t have to just sit and stare,” she said.
“Watch your mouth, Bitch.” Cutter replied, the smile remaining.
“Look, make your call if you want to,” Dawn spat. “I told you I wouldn’t interfere with Lauren, but I’m not going to be your fucking puppet. I have some shit on you too, asshole,” she said, staring defiantly. Cutter stood, the smile now gone, but as he rose, Dawn did as well; but she also opened her desk and when she was upright, she held a twenty-two calibre pistol in her hand.
Cutter regarded it and snorted, Really? You expect me to believe…”
“Try me, cock-sucker. I got nothin’ to lose and a good story to tell. This gun is yours, remember, your finger prints are on the shells, so think twice.”
Cutter was a coward at heart, so he wasn’t about to call Dawn’s bluff, not with the look on her face. It was a look of hate, and it took Cutter by surprise. “Fuck you,” he grunted and left; although that gun was a problem that needed solving.
Dawn waited, then sat down, shaking now. Would she have pulled the trigger? She sat in thought. She didn’t know, but she did know she wasn’t finished with ‘that bastard’.
“So, how’d it go?” Jessica asked a naked Meg, who was now tied spread-eagle on Jessica’s bed. The vibrating eggs had been removed and Meg had been provided with a lovely orgasm, courtesy of her mistress, who did not explain why. Now she wanted to know about Meg’s rendezvous with Marcy; a nervous and reluctant Marcy, it turned out, but one who never-the-less could not turn down Meg’s offer of a few hours together.
“Well, we went to the place you suggested (a sketchy but amazingly clean motel Jessica herself had used) and actually, um, got on pretty good. We were both horny, after all, like, and it got pretty heavy. We both, um, came, right, and then things got weird,” Meg related in her innocent way.
Jessica regarded her ‘girl’, feeling arousal as the encounter was revealed. Why the idea of her ‘partner’ having a sexual meeting in a scuzzy motel should turn her on, she didn’t know, especially when at the same time she was doing that very thing with someone else. “Weird how, Meggo? Be clear.”
Meg twisted a little on the bed, her bonds having a little give in them. “Uh, well, Marcy got real quiet again, like she was ashamed or something. I don’t know; she wouldn’t say anything, just went and had a shower. A long one, ‘cause you texted and I called out to her that my ride was there and I was leaving and she said okay and that was it.”
“Did she fuck you with the strap-on?” Jessica asked.
“We, um, never got to that, it was all, uh, pussy-eating, hmmmm. And um, fingering, I guess…”
Jessica smiled at her lovely, bound girl, and for a moment thought about sharing what she had been up to last night, but reconsidered. “That’s a good girl,” she said, tweaking Meg’s nipples forcefully.
The window in Lia and Holly’s reception office looked out on two corridors. As Lia sat now and watched, she saw across one corridor the door to the interview room open and a teenaged-girl come out, followed by Holly. The girl looked dismayed and Holly had that smug smile on her round face.
Lia was annoyed; actually more than annoyed, she felt a distinct stab of guilt. She might not be taking part anymore, but she was pretty sure of what was going on in that room and she did nothing to stop it. Didn’t that make her part of it still, and just as guilty?
Lia buried her face in her hands and moaned; life shouldn’t be this messed up.
Meg put her tuner in her pocket and strummed her guitar; she smiled at Mary, “I’m ready to go.”
“Hey, the place is still full,” Mary remarked, as they were about to begin their second and final set. Some nights the place had already started to lose people by this time, but not tonight. A number of faces in the crowd were familiar; the girls were building a following. “We should do that CD we’ve talked about?” Mary remarked, standing and slinging her strap over her shoulder.
“Download cards, babe. Who has a CD player anymore?”
“Me,” Mary laughed.
“Actually, we have one at the house too,” Meg chuckled. “Drink after the show?” Jessica had instructed Meg to hook up with Mary again tonight if she could; Meg had mixed feelings; on one hand she liked being with Mary; on the other, she couldn’t shake the feelings of foreboding that now crowded in on her, accompanying what her mistress was asking her to do.
Mary paused and regarded her friend, wondering, then replied. “My place?” She said, raising an eyebrow.
Meg just smiled.
Kendra brought a glass of wine and her ‘stash’ in to join Jessica, just as Lillian came bounding up the stairs. Without any comment, all three women sat together on the floor, Lillian placing a bag in front of her.
“So, how’d it go, Lil?” Kendra asked.
“How’d what go?” Jessica probed.
“Lillian was down at the Aboriginal place this afternoon.”
“Cool,” Jessica commented, accepting the joint that Kendra passed her.
Lillian then went on in a rush to share what she had
seen and experienced; she was like a little kid. “And look,” she said, opening the bag and removing a pair of moccasins. “Moose-hide, feel.” She instructed and both women felt the objects and ‘ooohed’ at the velvety softness. Lillian stood up and put them on. “They feel so cool,” she enthused, “but they had a hard time finding my size. Seems I have big feet,” she grimaced.
Jessica resisted the urge to say that Lillian had several ‘big’ aspects to her body, not wanting to spoil the mood. She sipped her wine, thinking that tonight she wanted to be naked with this creature. She hadn’t heard from Meg, so she assumed the girl had stayed with Mary.
The three women sat then in a comfortable quiet, making an occasional comment. Kendra got up and put in a Moody Blues CD and no one complained, the music seeming right for their…mood. After a fourth joint had been consumed, Lillian stretched out on the carpet, her new moccasins sitting right next to Kendra, who stroked them.
She looked over at Jessica, “So what’s happening?” she asked.
Jessica looked at the horizontal Lillian, but her wine and the dope had relaxed her. “Happening where, Sister?” she smirked.
“Here, with you. Your life. Your girl. Everything. Be straight with me…Sister.” Kendra now smirked in turn, but she was serious. Something was happening with her friend and she wanted the truth.
Jessica leaned her head back on the edge of one couch. “Fuck if I know. You need to be, like, specific, Queen K.”
Kendra considered. “What’s going on with you and Meg? Where is she tonight?”
“She’s got her gig.”
“Yeah, right, look at the time.”
Jessica smiled and paused, finally sighing, “Love, Sweetie. It’s a bitch.”
Jessica opened her eyes and sat straight. “No, it’s not. It’s the truth. People run around like crazy for this love thing; but when you got it, it fucks you in the head.”
“Why do you feel that way?”
Jessica closed her eyes and leaned back again on the couch; she was silent, and then tears began falling, slowly, down her cheeks. Kendra moved over beside the woman. “Jessica, what is it? Why are you like this?”
Jessica turned her face into Kendra’s shirt and hugged her. Lillian sat up and watched this, with Jessica murmuring. “I can’t trust it, Kend. I can’t believe it. I have no faith. Maybe some of us aren’t meant to love. Just to put on a mask and pretend.”
Kendra stroked the shaved side of Jessica’s head; it felt…nice, kind of like the moccasins. “We’re all meant to find love, Snooks.”
Lillian moved over and put her long arms around Jessica and pressed against her. “I ain’t lost faith, Jess.” She whispered into the side of Jessica’s face, then kissed her cheek. “If I can believe, anybody can, eh?”
“So what happens now?” Mary asked, gently stroking Meg’s face. “I said I’d stay for the music, and it’s been great. I’m really liking what we’re doing, and now we’ve got the gig at the house party on Friday. We work it right, I think we can do some more playing. But now, there’s this. I wasn’t going to do this…again.”
Meg raised her head and kissed Mary’s throat several times, then lay back on the pillow. “But here we are. You think this isn’t nice?”
Mary ran a fingernail down the side of Meg’s face and then traced the plump, soft lips, before kissing them. “Ummmmm, it’s very nice. I’m not stupid,” she chuckled. “But it’s putting all my eggs in one basket, eh? Where’s this going, Meg my sweet? You have someone
lurking in the shadows; what do you want?”
Meg pondered, then answered honestly, as was her nature. “I don’t know, Mare; can’t we just be, like this, playing, being together, making love. I’m not pretending, and, I’m, like, not expecting.”
“Hmmmmm,” Mary murmured, sliding her hand up to Meg’s crotch with its wild growth. “Question.”
“Mmmmm, hmmm,” Meg murmured.
“Why aren’t you shaving?”
“Okay, so what’s your timeline?” Cutter asked.
“I should be able to move her out in a couple more days.”
“Alright, I’m taking off soon. That Dawn bitch is acting all weird, so the sooner we move the other little slut the better.”
“You heading back to Cleveland?” Madera asked.
Cutter paused; he didn’t like giving out info but Madera had been valuable, “No, actually, I’ll be heading to Washington. Probably be there when you arrive.”
This was a surprise to Madera but she kept her voice even. “Very good. Check with you then.”
Kendra had her cup of morning coffee and she was standing in the ‘fun room’, just looking. Lillian came quietly up behind her and bent forward to kiss the woman’s neck, making her jump. “God, you’re like a shadow,” she laughed.
“That’s me, Mom, Lilli the shadow,” Lillian smirked, then looked around. “Whatcha doin’?”
Kendra sighed. “Not much, really. Hmmphf, we had big plans for this room,” she sighed again.
“It’s creepy, Mom.”
“What’s with the mom?” Kendra asked, with a chuckle.
“Don’t know, just in my mind. Stuff comes, eh?”
Kendra regarded the young woman, who seemed, amazingly, to be more beautiful once again. “Your hair is incredible, you know; it’s so thick and shiny. You should be a model.”
“Hmmmm,” Lillian remarked, and went to stand in front of the large, upright X-cross, spreading her arms and legs to the shape. “Like me like this?” she asked.
Kendra, to her annoyance, did get a bit of a sexual jolt seeing that gorgeous, full body positioned so, but it passed. She didn’t like it; she really didn’t. “No, I don’t like you like that,” she said, evenly.
“Why?” Lillian asked in her blunt way.
Kendra walked up to the girl and stood facing her, looking up into those dark eyes. “I…love you, Lillian. I can say that, ‘cause I don’t want you, like that. It surprises the Hell out of me, but that’s it. I will never use you and I will always be there for…”
But she didn’t get a chance to finish as Lillian grabbed her in a ferocious bear hug, and squeezed the breath out of her, whispering, “Thank you.”
Jessica came down the stairs from her room leading Meg by her leash. For the first time in a while the girl was in full ‘Cindy-Lou’ mode; pink collar, tail plug stuck in her butt, black dog nose on her face, hair teased into ‘ears’ and wearing knee pads. Jessica paraded her pet over to Kendra, who smiled benignly down on the creature.
“Down,” Jessica commanded and Cindy-Lou lay. Jessica then took her through several commands including roll over, beg and play dead, then ending with lick my shoes.
“That last one isn’t really a pet command, hey Boss.” Kendra had smirked at the mistress.
“Well sorry, Miss Picky, I’m sure,” Jessica replied, pulling the butt plug out and shoving it forcefully back in, making ‘Cindy’ jump.
“What’s the occasion?” Kendra asked mildly.
“Cindy-Lou was out all night, Tom-Catting around. There’s a price to pay, eh?” Jessica replied, striking a pompous pose.
“Right,” Kendra agreed. “You know a Tom Cat is a boy cat, right?”
“Whatever…Miss Picky.” Jessica smiled.
“I want you to stop what you’re doin’,” Lia said in a quiet but firm voice.
“What?” Holly turned her round face to her partner.
“Stop this stuff with the girls,” Lia continued.
“When the fuck did you get so high and mighty?” Holly asked sarcastically, “You’re like one of those religious freaks, all high on yourself.”
“Use your fucking head for a minute, Holly. You can’t keep rolling the dice like this. The more girls you get with, the more chance someone tells somebody. You’ve got your head in the fuckin’ sand.”
“Well, it’s my fucking head, alright.” Holly stood and headed for the door.
“It’s not just your head, sister, it’s my neck too.”
“Oh don’t be such a drama queen,” Holly sneered as she left.
Lia sat, looking darkly at her computer screen.
Lauren stood, shivering, the dim bulb above her illuminating her form and little else. Madera stood against the wall, in the shadow, watching. “Knees,” she barked, and Lauren immediately dropped down, her hands still clasped behind her head.
Madera walked slowly to the kneeling form, taking the gun from her pocket. She pressed the muzzle to Lauren’s temple, and pressed the hammer. Click! Lauren gasped but held her position. Madera chuckled, “Very good, little whore. But that’s how simple it can be. That’s how easy, how quick. No one is here. No one is anywhere nearby. It’s just you and me, and with one click, I can end your worthless life.”
With another gasp, Lauren collapsed to the floor, curling into a fetal position, where she lay as Madera stood and watched.
“You need an education, your education.” Kendra said simply, before the spoonful of Fruit Loops went into her mouth. She chewed and watched Lillian, who was standing and waiting for her toast.
Lillian turned, “How’z ‘dat work, Mom?” She asked, and there was no sarcasm in her voice.
Kendra smiled, “You would register as an adult student. There are lots of options, you decide how things go.”
Lillian nodded, “I can’t even remember school, like nuthin’, eh?”
“You were in school until the third grade. Then you went off the grid,” Kendra remarked, remembering Lillian’s file, which she knew almost by heart.
“Yeah,” Lillian said, as her toast popped up.
Friday night was a little different, both for the Purple Barista and the duo calling themselves, simply, Meg and Mary. “We’ll come up with something splashier if we get an agency,” Mary had winked.
Back at the coffee shop/lounge, a young roots trio, arranged by Mary, was entertaining and doing a decent job; the girls would be back Saturday so the regulars accepted the change.
Tonight, the girls were playing a house concert, a burgeoning music experience that was happening all across the country and in the U.S.A; people having music concerts right in their living rooms. For this one, there were around forty guests who had paid a ten dollar cover charge and were entertained by a solo guy followed by an hour of ‘Meg and Mary’.
Kevin Greenfield had followed his daughter to the house and surprised Meg by bringing someone with him. “Look!” Meg had poked Mary in the ribs, “My dad has a woman with him.”
“Good for him, and it’s someone of an opposite gender. That’s strange around here,” Mary replied chuckling, and Greenfield actually blushed when Meg caught his eye and winked. Later, during their set, Meg dedicated one of her songs to him and he, while beaming furiously, also looked like he would melt into the wall and away from the eyes that suddenly turned to him.
At the night’s close, as people made contact with the performers and the hosts divided up the cash, Greenfield introduced Sandra and there were smiles and handshakes all around. Greenfield then said to the girls that they should consider putting out a CD or something and he was more than ready to support them.
Later, when they had left and were at Mary’s car, having come to the gig together, Mary grabbed Meg, “Did you hear what your dad said?” She asked, clutching Meg by the shoulders and shaking her back and forth.
“Yeah. Yeah. Easy, Mare, my head’s still attached, eh?” Mary laughed and Meg continued, “I don’t want to take advantage of him.”
“Oh for heaven’s sake, Meggo, he wants to help you. He keeps asking to help you. You’re not taking advantage of him. Do you want me to shake you again?”
“No, no,” Meg laughed, “I get it. I’m just cautious; I don’t want this to be something I rely on, you know, his generosity.”
Mary gently shook her head. “You think too much. He’s your dad. He loves you. He wants to finally be involved with your life. Hell’s bells, Kid…”
“Whatever, get in the car.” As they started off, Mary turned her face, “My place or yours?” Meg smiled and leaned over to kiss Mary warmly on the cheek before gently biting one ear lobe. “Right,” Mary smirked, and pressed the accelerator. ****
“What’s that?” Dawn asked, glancing at the clock and realizing it was past midnight.
“I said, your guy has taken off, you know, flown away.”
“Hmmmm,” Dawn murmured, “You wouldn’t actually know where he was off to?”
“Well, the flight was going to Miami with one stop in Washington, you know, D.C.”
“Hmmmm,” Dawn murmured again, “Thanks, L. Dig you later.”
That was interesting. Dawn opened up a file folder on her laptop; one thing about working for Cutter for several years was that she had a lot of information on and about him. She started looking through her files.
Later, as her digital desk clock clicked to two zero, zero, she smiled and exited her files, shutting off her device. She was pretty sure now where he was going. She tapped a pencil on her desk; now she just had to decide her next step.
Jessica was just rinsing her mouth after brushing when she sensed a presence near her; turning, she saw the slim figure of Allie standing by the doorway. “May I speak with you, Miss Jessica?” Allie asked with reverence.
“Of course, sweet Allie-Slave. What’s up, duck?”
Allie looked confused, “Isn’t it, Doc?”
Jessica laughed out loud. “Are you a duck or a Doc, Sweets?” she grinned.
Allie shook her head, “I’m confused is what. Um, I wanted to know if I could, uh, stay with you tonight?”
Jessica smiled. It had actually been awhile since she had spent some intimate time with Allie. “Sure, I think me and my pussy would like that.”
Allie smiled and the two proceeded down the hall the few steps to Jessica’s room and then her bed, and soon they were locked in each other’s arms.
An hour later, as Jessica’s even breathing told her the woman was asleep, Allie slipped gently out of the bed and got dressed. Then she moved like a shadow down the stairs, retrieving her coat and the very few personal effects from a cupboard, plus some money she had stashed.
Finally she opened the door soundlessly and slipped out, moving quickly and purposefully down the sidewalk. She had made the decision to leave earlier, but she had wanted one more time with Jessica, who she still cared for, quite a lot.
Allie had sensed tension between Jessica and Meg. Who knew, maybe in time Allie would have had a chance? Likely not, she had told herself.
Sometimes, one needs to cut one’s losses and just let go.
(End of Chapter 16)